Velour and Vagina
90 Photos + Video
Cassie Young, Mindy Main
Aside from this title sounding like something found under a painting in any museum of modern art you might run across, we honestly did not know quite how to approach this task when it came up on our schedule. As with most companies, we use a deceptively simple system for moving projects from one department to the next, so when the time for “copy writing” finally rolls around, usually we have only a title on our sheet. (One will also find a cast list field, but somehow video editors miss that one more times than they fill it in. Basically, editors are odd ducks — not to insult any actual ducks out there or anything.)
So we watch the video, look at the pictures if they exist, and then impart deep words of wisdom — or so the theory goes. (We also continue to admire Cassie Young, as defines our tradition, but that might be beside the point.)
Oddly enough, the title decision comes clearly into focus very early, which sadly happens to be a lot more than we can say for the camera work. If anybody ever needed to look up the word “Steadicam” or “gimbal” before a shoot, we have found the perfect candidate. Round two of the educational tour would have explained that if you shoot “down” on sitting models, they look uncomfortable at best, and disproportionately squatty at worst.
On the other hand, as with most shoots of this genre, technical excellence did not seem to be a high priority. If you completely ignore basic shooting skills, though, you end up with, well, this. … Not to say that this represents something horrible or anything. This particular scene happens to originate from a series called Who’s Next in Porn, and they keep making new editions based on that central concept. One can deduce, therefore, that presumably at least a reasonably significant audience does not care about styling, or art direction, interview skills or attention to effective story-telling. Our industry would be wise to remember the base audience that still bases their buying actions on, “New naked lady! Yay!”
Never forget that Playboy built an empire on that singularly simple concept. (Of course this conclusion presumes you never bought into the theory that anyone actually does get the magazine “for the articles” as the company has maintained over the years.)
So we have Mindy Main excitedly nervous on day two of her career, combined with Cassie Young falling more into the simply excited category. If you take that as the simple premise, and you require little more in the way of mental titillation, then the folks at Loaded Digital have delivered up a fine offering. If you consider this genre all about real people having real sex (more or less) on camera — and lesbian sex floats the little man in your boat (or whatever) — well, you might be darned pleased this time around. They do each other. They do themselves. They use dandy Pyrex dildoes. Could be that recipe works just fine for you.
For our part, we avoided what we considered the more technically equivalent title of “Animal Print Poontang with Purple” for this entry. It may have fit the technical skill level demonstrated better, but, hey, maybe this really is modern art, and we don’t understand it any better than any other kind of modern art. We still maintain the camera operator/director could have come up with better “Action” advice than simply spouting: “What do you think, kids? Should we tear it up now?” (That would be tear like TARE, as in rip, not like crying TEARS, but we do appreciate visual irony as well….)