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Kinzie Joe Tealin’ Groovy

Tealin' Groovy with Kinzie Joe


Kinzie Joe Tealin’ Groovy

Photo: Chris King

Kinzie Joe Tealin’ Groovy

Kinzie Joe

Tealin’ Groovy


Kinzie Joe, Jack Lawrence

As you might expect, we run into a lot of people that want to get into the adult movie business. Also as you might expect, the vast majority of those want to be on camera, and they happen to be male. … Gosh. Young men wanting to have sex with an array of beautiful women. Imagine.

Well, if you happen to fall into that category, we can give you the answer right now, so you won’t have to bug us at the next convention you attend: Find a beautiful, liberal, girlfriend who wants to have sex with you on camera for money, and come on down.

Consequently then, again as you might expect, we do not get a lot of new male talent in the industry. As an interesting aside, for a few decades we hardly got any new male talent. Then someone invented the little blue pill, and suddenly the pressure of the situation no longer overwhelmed the pressure necessary in the male genitals. Of course it remains to be seen what the long-term effects of young men in their 20’s taking Viagra regularly will do to them in their 50’s, but athletes sacrifice their bodies every day. If they think it worth the risk simply to get a first down on a football field, we’ll have a tough time arguing with them when the prize happens to be sex with someone that might never even speak to them otherwise.

Sex is supposed to be fun, you see. Whether you hail from the Creation or Evolution camps, you have to agree that propagation of the species pretty much demands that the specific act of procreation be enjoyable. Otherwise our great-great-great grandparents would have spent their time enjoying the marvelous invention of peanut butter, and none of us would be here. (That was 1895, courtesy Mr. Kellogg, by the way. We looked it up.)

Now what you may not expect at first consideration would be the amount of actual skill required to do a good (read: convincing) job having sex on camera. You see, having sex comes (as it were) fairly naturally for all of us, but doing so on camera mandates an almost entirely different sort of physical — and mental — challenge. If you want to test the theory, just set a camera on a tripod up in your bedroom, and then have sex in front of it. You don’t even have to have a partner, or even turn the camera on. (But if you do, feel free to send a copy to us; we love those.) Once that camera gets in the room, you can’t do anything without being aware of it.

Enter — today — Kinzie Joe in one of her very, very first experiences as a professional. Even without the introduction, you would likely have been able to tell that Kinzie had not done this a lot of times before. You may not have guessed the Nebraska part, but you would probably have been able to put her origins in a city of a smaller size, as compared to a larger one. Yet you will not see anything at all reminiscent of her being intimidated in the slightest. Enthusiasm counts for a lot in this industry (along with a seemingly innate comfort with nudity, sure). Not many jobs that we can think of, in fact, allow for such rapid advancement based a great deal on this simple qualification. Honestly, we’ve always enjoyed that part of this movie business, as compared to the other more clad one.

Kinzie made it almost 10 years in the business before heading off to less well-lit pastures, so clearly others shared our assessment of her early abilities. (Of course we’d hardly show you someone who failed, because that would be boring. So there’s that.) … By the way, if you do want to try something different, make yourself a good old-school PB&J and enjoy it while you watch this. You add taste to the regular senses involved in enjoying sex, and you might be surprised. Good design, that sex drive.

Sadly, Kinzie does not seem to have an active Twitter account. If you find one, do let us know.

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